AM: You traveled for 2 years on this trip - what are 3 things you loved and 3 things you could have done without on the trip?
KD: We actually traveled for nearly 3 years! Not every country and experience made it into the book.
When I look back on the trip the 3 things I really loved was, first of all, the time. Every single day was wide open. I had the time to really look inward, to ask myself what I wanted out of life, to spend time mentally sorting through my life and truly getting to know myself. I feel so incredibly lucky that I had those years—they changed my life.
The second thing I really loved, and maybe this makes me sound a bit selfish, was that I didn’t worry about people. Since I wasn’t home and I didn’t have a phone I knew that I’d only hear about something if it was really important. I used to be the kind of person where, if the phone rang unexpectedly, I’d automatically think that something was wrong. I guess I’m a worrier by nature. But I stopped worrying because I was so far away from home and I couldn’t fix anything for anybody—and that feeling was incredibly freeing.
The third thing I loved was the food. Oh man, the food. Especially the Indian food—even the airplane food in India made me drool.
As far as the things I could have done without. Well, I really missed the people I loved. I missed being a daily part of people’s lives. You leave and the world keeps right on spinning and you realize that if you don’t show up for people they move on without you. I also could have done without the marriage tensions and problems that came to a head while traveling. But the thing is, I’m also grateful that I faced my deepest questions—about my marriage and myself—head on. It’s so easy to stuff uncomfortable thoughts and feelings down and ignore the truth and much, much harder to face it. No one wants to go through gut-wrenching times, but they’re necessary.
AM: What lessons that you learned on the trip do you still do to this day?
KD: One of the biggest things I learned on the trip was to let go. I stopped being a control freak. I used to think that I was just born that way but, nope, it’s a learned thing and it can be changed. Now I know that the only thing I can control is my reaction in any given situation. So I just roll with things now. It’s so much better not getting worked up about small things!
Because of the yellow envelope gift we were given, I also learned a lot about giving. I learned that giving will always be awkward and uncomfortable but that's no reason to avoid it. To this day I still give yellow envelopes away and I’ve even started something called The Yellow Envelope Project (find it on Facebook @yellowenvelopeproject) where I mail yellow envelopes to people around the globe and they use their envelope to perform an act of kindness.
AM: Prior to leaving on this trip, what are 3 things that you would have never done in your old life, but find yourself enjoying now?
KD: I used to be a planner, but now most of the time I just show up and figure things out when I get there. It leaves room for spontaneity and adventure.
I also used to be so guarded of my time, but now I’m more open. I make time for people—I almost always say yes to an invitation, whereas before I said no because my life was so scheduled and regimented.
I’m also just more curious about people and more trusting. I mean, I traveled the world for three years, relying on strangers the whole time, and time and time again people proved to me that humans are generally good and willing to help as long as you are open to receiving. That’s the thing; I wasn’t open to receiving things before. Now, I let people help me. And I do everything I can to help other people. We’re all in this thing together.
AM: What are your favorite mountains/hiking trails?
KD: Oh, there are so many!! First, I have to start in my own backyard because the United States has some of the most stunning natural beauty in the world. The National Parks are a national treasure—I could spend the rest of my life just exploring states like Utah, Colorado, Oregon and Washington.
I have a very soft spot in my heart for the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile pilgrimage route through Spain that I walked solo (though it didn't make it into the book - maybe another book!). The Camino de Santiago is a special experience, there’s nothing else like it on earth.
I also have to give a shout-out to Nepal. My husband and I walked the Annapurna Circuit. That was some of the hardest trekking of my life (we crested a 17,000-foot pass!) but also some of the most magical. It’s not just the mountains, which are amazing, but also the villages that you walk through. It’s a special part of the world and I can’t wait to go back.